Farmer teds- fun but dangerous

Today after Little sunflowers Erin and I toddled off to Farmer Teds for an afternoon with Heather. We had a lovely time and to make it better the weather was great. So we saw the animals- espec the cows for Heather as she seems to like them!? Erin was gettin brave today, she wont usually go anywhere near the animals and although she still wouldnt stroke them she did go over to them quite closely watching them. She is still very scared however of the big cow in the middle of the farm ( its plastic!). We went for the tractor ride which she enjoyed and had a play on the wooden tractor and the climbing frame. Thats where it started. She went down the first slide. got to the bottom and fell off, flat on her face as she was going so fast- shouldnt laugh but did! Anyway she was fine and carried on. Then when playing on the wooden tractor she went down the slide at the back of it and then in slow motion she slid down the slide, shoes got caught on the slide and she went head over heals and fell of the side of the slide landing right on her head!.. again funny, she jumped up and was laughing. She then walked away, fell over nothing and banged her mouth- screaming, tears, blood and everything! Thankfully it was a cut lip not her teeth.

So she got over this and we went to the indoor play thing she had a lovely time.

When we arrived home aftger doin what we needed to do before bed we went out into the front so i could put some weed killer down. Anyway, long stary short- she bent down and bang- she banged her cheek on the wall- must have hurt her. Anyway decided it was defo bed time!

She loved being with Heather today and can now say heather, she was upset tho when she got in her car to go home, she wanted her in ours. When we got home she was still saying ' heather, car' wonder if she will say that next week when she sees her again?!

So had a fun day but the poor things looks like she has been battered!

Long time

Well it has been a long time since i have written on here! Was barely 2009 when i last wrote and now here we are very nearly in April! Not been up to much really, had the odd few days out with Erin and have been trying to spend lots of time with her, and of course working. I had a week off in Feb and kinda thought sod it... every day we did something fun, Erin even had a week off school! Erin is becoming such good company, she does things to make you laugh and is just nuts. She loves nothing more than going for a walk round the block pushing baba in her pram and saying hello to everyone she walks past. She loves pretty much anything and going anywhere, even shopping so long as i dont make her sit in the pram! She is becoming so adventurous, loves going exploring. Still doin tumble tots on and monday and swimming on a thurs. She loves them both, is becoming more settled at TT's now, she used to hate it if one the girls spoke to her- im not sure if she thought i was going to leave her there?! As for swimming, she just loves it- even the shower at the end! She has started kicking her legs to make herself move and also loves to float on her back, its very cute, i am so glad we stuck to the swimming, it is good to see her so confident in the water.

She has settled very well in nursery, i took her in this morning and she was very excited on the way in then gave me a kiss waved goodbye and ran in (not sure if the toast had something to do with all the enthusiasm?!) but she really seems to love it. There was a time there after christmas i had a few concerns about the nursey and wasnt sure if she was settled as there always seemed to be different women in there and Erin never seemed to be happy when picked her up but glad that has all changed.

Her language is amazing, she talks all the time, she has started putting 2-3 words together which is so funny sometimes to hear. Her fav i think at mo is saying 'me, mummys bed' which she says at 4am every morning as she wants to get in my bed ( i dont let her of course!), she really is a sweet heart i am very lucky to have her.

I never planned on being a single mum and i did my best not to be a single mum but sometimes things happen for a reason and for now, at least i am a single mum to a very clever beutiful little girl and i couldnt be more proud of either of us! Things are hard sometimes, but whenever i feel down erin pulls a funny face or does something funny and nothing else matters. She can be a little monster at times, and templer tantrums- she is ace at but on the whole she is a good girl.

I am hoping things will sort out soon. Shea has got himself a job- a rubbish one for now but its a job so he will hopefully b able to give me some money when starts gettin paid, he can also then start saving for his door mans badge, he has done the course but costs £250 for the badge but in meantime he can do special events- football, concerts etc, he can do that on top of the other job and hopefully he wil have the money together soon enough. It is a hard time right now for anyone looking for a job and i do not envy anyone in that postition.

As for me and Shea?!... well i dont know. We get on most of the time when he comes round to see Erin but just as friends. I do miss him being here or at least i think i do- do i miss him or miss having someone here? For now i am glad we  are getting on and it is noce to spend time out the three of us. He has got his own flat sorted out which he is moving into at end of week- i find this all a bit strange- wrong in some ways. But hopefully it will not be forever! 

We have had a strange few months in work. It is either very quiet or very busy, never really inbetween and as a ward full of girls, we are neva happy and complain a lot. We complain we are too busy and we complain we are bored- no winning! It has been a sad few months also, we have lost  a lot of children over and since christmas, i dont think it ever gets any easier- how can it!? There was a little girl who died a few weeks ago which made me very sad, she was 14 months and i have looked after her since she was a baby, i got on very well with the parents and it broke my heart when she died even though she was so poorly. Think it makes it even harder now i have Erin. I finished work that day and went straght to pick Erin up i just needed to have her with me. It makes me so much more appreciative i think of what i do have. There are lots of things i can and do complain about but really in the grand scheme of things- are they really important? What is important is that i have a beutiful and healthy little girl. We have a home, I have a good job, we have good family and friends around us- so what if we not got any money- there are so many fun things we can do that dont require any money- and she usually enjoys these things more!

Erin had a check up in the hospital last week on her hips from when she had that problem shortly before her 1st birthday. At the time nothing was really explained to us this time however they were really good. We had to pin her dwn for her x-ray she was scared of the machine- bless. But thankfully all was well. She showed us the 2 x-rays to compare them and you can see a problem with the first one's socket but thankfully it has righted itself. She needs to be seen again shortly after her 2nd birthday as that is when the hip socket will be fully formed. But i have no concerns as she is running and jumping everywhere so just a formality i think.

What other news do i have?... Jan and Murray have had a little girl- Louise Isla, she looks gorg on the pics. It is strange that we cant just pop round to see them anymore. I am looking forward to going down to see them in a few weeks time hopefully! 2 of my friends in work have had little girls and there is another one on the way, with 2 more girls just announcing they are pregnant, babies everywhere! Lovely!

I am off work today as i am scabby and infectious! I have hand foot and mouth disease- nice! My mouth is the worst bit of it all, it is so sore covered in ulcers- very painful! but seems to be gettin better now thankfully. im not sure if i caught it off Erin. I had a couple of really bad days (and nights) with her last week but i put it down to teething- wonder if in fact she ahd this? I feel bad but then i wasnt to know or even suspect and to be fair wouldnt have treated it any differently. I asked in nursery this morning and apparently they had a couple of cases last week, so likely she did have it and has given it to me.

I am off next week on AL which i am sooooo lucking forward to. Liam and Ruth and the girls donw for the Easter weekend too which will be nice, not seen them since before christmas. Well better go. Just realised this chat wasnt very cheery- will be better next time!

2008

What a year!

Christmas was nice- quiet but nice, think it is what we needed this year. I was in work on the early on christmas day and Erin spent the morning with Shea then me and Erin went to mums for dinner with Anita and Heather, had a lovely relaxing day and then over to dads on boxing day which again was nice. Erin has so many toys and she gets biger the toys to seem to get bigger- some serious de-cluttering/toying is needed i think after christmas. Erin had such a lovely time- although she doesnt understand the whole santa thing and in fact hated seeing santa she got very excited and loved opening presents. She got some lovely gifts from people- thank you x

christmas 2008                                                       christmas 2007! what a difference!

The week before christmas the welsh bennetts all came down- we had a nice time and went for a meal on the sunday. Was nice watching Erin and Martha play together- Erin is by far the boss i think- she is so bossy luckily Martha is quite laid back and went with it. Erin was also quite delighted by Millie, she now has her own baba who she feeds, dresses, cleans and takes for walks, she loves her. Although i am not to sure liking her dolly is the same as liking having a brother or sister- she quite clingy and gets jealous when i hold other babies so luckily for now that is not an option!

At the begining of december we went to wales for marthas birthday. I am such a useless passenger i felt so ill most the way there. Erin was good for the most part. Had a nice weekend but then on the sunday Erin was a bit niggly in the morning. By the time we were leaving she had a temp and was full of cold, she was so sad on the way home and was even sick. Unfortunately by the monday we all had it!

Not too sure this year is the best year i have ever had in fact in so many ways the worst year i have ever had but this year has also been amazing! I have spent the last 12 months watching Erin grow from a small baby to a little lady which has been brilliant, tiring but so much fun! She is now so full of charactor and makes me smile and laugh all the time! I can honestly say that Erin is what has kept me going this year- which makes me love her even more. She is brill i am so blessed to have her, she seems quite tuned into other peoples feeling too. I was really ill other week and was coughing terribly, she dissapeared out of the room and came back in with a drink for me and on the odd occasion she has seem me upset she comes and wipes my tears and gives me a hug ( this then inevitably makes me cry more but very sweet!).

I dont know what next year holds but i do know that it cant be any worse than this year. I feel more in control of my life now than i have done for a long time and so i know that the decisions are mine- I am in no rush to make any quick decisions as i think both me and Erin have been through enough and for now we are settled and happy just the 2 of us. There are some worries ahead which i know i will have to deal with like my financial situation but hopefully this will improve slightly when shea gets a job- hopefully he will start to give me he owes me which will b a huge help.There is so many things that i know i will not be able to do or protect Erin from in the future but for now i can ensure she is happy and settled with a happy home life.

It is now 3 hours until 2009- i am tucked up on the couch, fire on choc biscuits next to me. Erin tucked up in bed (albeit at mums) and that is where i shall be soon- on early in work tomorrow.

I wish you all happiness and a great 2009!

.

New suprises every day!

Erin is mad! Completely utterly mad! Funny mad but mad all the same!

She does some funny things and makes me laugh every day. On saturday for example, we were upstairs and i was running the bath, she was naked and running round on the landing. Erin turned the radio on and when i came out the bathroom she was dancing like a nutter to the Beegee's! (so i joined in- had to show her it was ok!)

We bought Erin a table and chairs set, Shea was putting it together and the table was upside down, she was playing happily on it until he turned it the right way round and she went mad! so- he turned it back over and she carried on playing with it. She likes it now though the right way round. She also has a new rocking chair and she sits on it with her dolls rocking them and singing to them- very cute!

Sleeping still going well- last few nights she has been a little unsettled but is gettin her top fang teeth so think the causing a few problems but not too bad. She has learned lots of new words- she can now say; mummy, dada,dummy, grandad, doggie, no, yes, juice, i see, there-she-is, shoes, socks, plus lots more i cant think of right now. She has a good understanding of what we say, she will look for her shoes or coat if asked, if she picks a hoe up and you say its daddy's for example she will take it to him, if we say we are going for a walk she will go to the pram or go tothe door- she is very clever! think it is ue to me never shutting up maybe!?

Last week was bonfire night and Erin being the wimp she is we thought she would hate the fireworks. After tea we took her for a little walk and she was made up with the fireworks so we came back home and got the pram and went the park for the display- she was made up- loved them! (Blackpool on the otherhand was a disaster- the less said the better!)

I have been off work sick today- feel awful- main problem being a very sore throat, took Erin to nursery this morning and thought would go the docs then come home and rest for a few hours- no such luck, when i got back Shea had taken a call fromt he nursery and they said Erin wasnt well and so could we pick her up- so we did- NOTHING wrong with her! Not even a temp- think she was tired- so i spent the afternoon looking after Erin so not actually feeling ANY better! Ah well.

Well that my babble over for now. xx

woohoo its working!

well i my last blog i said i was trying out the controlled crying- not a complete disaster but wasnt great until the other night. i put Erin to bed- asleep- then the flaming ice cream van woke ehr up so i decided if i picked her up i would undo what i had done at night so i left her - she was back asleep within 5 mins- not bed! So the following night i did our usual thing- bath, dressed, story, milk, story theninstead of spending an hour rocking her to sleep i took her into her room and put her down then settled myself in our room expecting a long night- 10 mins and she was asleep!!! she was actually fast asleep in her bed by 7pm then slept til 7.30am! she did stir in the nihgt (not helped by me dropping a very heavy object on the bathroom floor!) ut settled herself off very quickly. So woohoo its working! It really is making a difference, although i have months of sleep to catch up on it is amazing what a few nights sleep does for you!

Im off this week, been pleasant so far and looking forward to the wedding on sat.

realise i have not posted any pics for a while but there are loads on facebook, will update soon!